I Was a Victim of Office Gossip

Posted by . April 30th, 2008 at 2:40 pm. Leave a comment.

Office Gossip

I am in love with gossip. I gobble it up, lick the bowl, and then ask for seconds. For the most part this pertains to celebrity gossip. When Heath passed, I was the one to start the Greek chorus of ‘oh no!’s through my office. I started a countdown for when Jaime Lynn’s baby is going to pop (and another one with bets on when Brit is to going to get preggers again). And the scandalous photos of Miley? I have written on many a discussion board of my opinion on the situation.

My obsession for celebrity gossip, however, has given way to a new fixation — office gossip. I know it’s wrong and not healthy but I just can’t help myself…literally. My desk’s location is in a hot bed of scandal and too loud chitchat. I have a nice little corner cubicle that is surrounded by corner offices — the COO, the CEO, the CFO — and my desk also happens to be kiddy-corner to our human resources/legal department (aka our CAO). In short, I see it all. I have heard the CAO fight with his wife, have heard people get screamed at for shortcomings, and have even seen people get fired.

I’ve even heard the higher-ups have discussions about me (some good, some not-so-good). But my most recent foray in being a victim of office gossip was laughable so I had to share.

Last week I woke up and my right eye hurt. Upon closer inspection, I realized my right eyelid was significantly larger than my left. Of course I ran running and screaming into WG1′s room asking whether she thought I had a tumor in my right eye. She laughed at me, and then handed me some stye ointment. Yes, I had fallen prey to a stye. To make sure my new little friend was gone before the weekend, I decided to forgo my contacts and make-up. Both are things I never do, so obviously this attracted some extra attention from my co-workers.

First thing that morning I corralled two of my work friends to inspect my eye, which is unfortunate normalcy in our everyday routines. The three of us bond over our illnesses (odd, I know). My friend A is a self-proclaimed hypochondriac and D has been having some weird reactions to cheese lately. Anyway, A and D both told me I should enlist The Boss’s help confirming if it was a stye or not because she loves pretending she is our mother (which translates to she is very lax about taking sick days).

The Boss confirms I have a stye and has no sympathy for me. And I believe this will be the end of the talk of my stye. Only it isn’t. Because rumor of my stye floated around the office and at least three people came up to me before lunch time to offer remedies and housewives’ tales of how to get rid of this unwanted bump and I had not told this people about my malady. My stye was the talk of the office. I was Wednesday’s office gossip.

This revelation that even something as trivial as a bump on my eye could be circulated around the office made me want to shun idle chitchat altogether. I swore I would be better about gossiping from now on. I would cover my ears when people were called into the CEO’s office. I would try not to look into the windows of HR when people were being interviewed for new positions. I would not put my two cents in when we made bets on who would make out at our next holiday party.

I would stop for the sake of styes everywhere.
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1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Posted by . April 29th, 2008 at 3:45 pm. Leave a comment.
I’ve always had celebrity crushes. The first was Taylor Hanson. I thought I was going to marry him. Then there was Nick Carter. I also thought I was going to marry him. I grew out of my celebrity boy craziness in high school. But the crushes have returned. Not on Taylor and Nick, although they will both hold a special place in my heart.
In between meetings and dealing with clients my coworkers and I e-mail one another about office gossip, exciting happenings in our lives and most importantly our Top Five. 
The Top Five is an easy concept that one of my coworkers recently brought to our attention. Choose your top five celebrity crushes, any way you want: by personality, looks, their music, their movies, etc. I have been known to choose my top five based on the most recent TV shows and movies I’ve watched. My list also includes guys that most people have to imdb
Let’s get to my list:

1. Jim Sturgess – After seeing Across the Universe last weekend, he has skyrocketed to the top of my list. My teenybopper self fell for him after seeing just one face he made in the movie. Please see the face he makes at 2:00 in this video. It might just be me, but I love it. Not to mention he can sing and has a british accent. 

2. Scott M. Foster – He plays Cappie on ABC Family’s Greek. I know you watch it, don’t be embarrassed. For a long time I thought WG2 and I were the only 23-year-olds watching. I have since learned that two of my coworkers also watch the dramedy geared towards High Schoolers. Those poor kids are going to have such a distorted view of college. I mean, the Zeta Beta’s would totally have had kegs in the backyard after Lizzy left and how come no one ever acts drunk? Right, it’s on ABC Family at 8pm. 
3. Christian BaleNewsies, anyone? Is it weird that I’m more attracted to the Christian Bale in Newsies than I am to the Christian Bale in Batman?
4. Danny Pino – I love a good crime show but they scare me to death. But after watching a marathon of dvr-ed episodes of Cold Case, I can sleep easy knowing that a detective like Danny’s character Scotty Valens will save me. Although, Cold Case is about old homicide cases, so Scotty Valens saving me probably wouldn’t be a good thing.
5. Matthew Fox – Matthew isn’t a regular on my list but Lost is finally back and I just saw a preview for his new movie Speed Racer
That is my Top Five. Oh, I almost forgot my silver fox. My silver fox is Christopher Meloni from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. So Working Girls, you have a top five and a silver fox, get working on that list!
Note: my coworker who started this has made a rule that George Clooney cannot be a silver fox. He must hold a spot on the top five. Her reasoning: “he would be everyone’s silver fox” and “there is just so much hotness that he needs a spot.” But, she also had Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio on her list for a while. So, take her rule however you’d like. 
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Working Girl Wardrobe: Rainy Day

Posted by . April 28th, 2008 at 6:48 pm. Leave a comment.

Weather Forecast for New York City:

Monday: Rain and thunderstorms
Tuesday: Partly cloudy with a chance of rain
Wednesday: Mostly sunny
Thursday: Few showers
Friday: Few showers

Since a higher being (or the effects of global warming) has decided to make the next few weeks of my life very difficult by soaking New York City with a minor flood, I thought it would be appropriate to write about what a Working Girl should wear in the case of a sudden downpour or just a smattering or even a light sprinkle of rain during her commute to and from the office using my new favorite website Polyvore.

If you couldn’t tell from my little rant above, I’m not a huge fan of rain especially because I now live in the city. This ultimately means that on my way to the office the humidity will make my hair frizz, my pants will be soaked, and therefore I will be cranky all day long.

To avoid becoming cranky, a Working Girl needs to make sure she has three items in her wardrobe – staples that every Working Girl should splurge on to make sure she is safe from even the smallest drizzle.

A nice trench coat
The coat featured above is a Burberry Islington nylon trench that is unfortunately sold out (due to popular demand) — not to mention very much out of my price range. But a good quality, classic trench coat is a must-have for any Working Girl. Not only does it keep the rain away, it is a timeless wardrobe piece that has never gone out of style. The look is not only very Holly Golightly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” circa 1961 but also very Blair Waldorf in “Gossip Girl” circa 2008 (yes, I watch teen drama – don’t judge). I snagged my classic khaki trench from Banana Republic on sale last spring so look for some good deals as spring turns into summer.

A snazzy pair of rain boots
Rain repellent galoshes are essential in keeping puddles in the streets where they belong and therefore off your pants and out of your shoes. There is nothing I hate more than having wet shoes/socks/feet all day at work. I know, not a pleasant visual. The rain boots featured above are both colorful and playful and will make a great addition to a classic trench. The ultimate, timeless pair of rain boots to have are Hunter boots from the UK. A way to make them more memorable? Try them in this lime green hue. If you’re on a budget, try Target for more reasonably priced version of the classic Scottish wellies.

An umbrella (ella, ella, eh)
The most important of all accessories when preparing to battle the rain is having a truly invincible umbrella. An umbrella that deal with crazy throw-you-to-the-ground wind and can beat off sleet and even snow if need be. My vote for best umbrella goes to the “bubble umbrella” featured above. Not only will it not turn inside out if faced with extreme wind conditions, but it will also help keep your hair frizz-free since it creates a “bubble” over your shiny locks. Another definite plus to this umbrella is its price tag – $16.99 at Target.

My rainy day wardrobe almost makes me want the rain to stay a few more days. Almost.

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I Would Like Chicken Fingers and a Midori Sour Please

Posted by . April 25th, 2008 at 3:55 pm. Leave a comment.

Bartender: Here you go.
Dwight: Wait a minute what is this? I didn’t order this.
Bartender: For you. [points to basketball players] From them.
Dwight: Oh. [pours out the drink]
Ryan’s friend: What are you doing man?
Dwight: Not safe. Anything could’ve been in there. [to the girls] Nice try.

And the quest for someone to “bear” Michael’s fruit continues.

Ryan, former temp turned New York manager, comes back to the Scranton office to talk to the branch about sales and why they need to stay in on a Saturday to convert their sales that they made on the phone to sales made on the Internet which couldn’t originally be made on the Internet because of a little sexual predator problem the new Dunder Miflin social network had. To which Kelly responds, “If I had made a website that had this many problems, I would kill myself.” Classic. Which reminds me, can we please get more Kelly-isms on this show? Thanks.

While there Ryan admits that he gets “unreal” girls at the clubs in New York, which of course translates to Michael as an open invitation to stalk him by getting Ryan’s whereabouts from his assistant, because according to Michael it’s not the horniness, it’s the loneliness and he needs a girlfriend STAT (yes, caps were necessary).

Michael and Dwight enter Club Prerogative (love the Britney reference!) and surprise, surprise Ryan is actually excited to see them. And it seems that they only friend Ryan has is a very, very short bearded man who Dwight says resembles a J.R. Tolkein character. I have to agree with Dwight on this one. Later in the episode Dwight makes out (yes, full on tongues a real woman) who he refers to as an Amazon. To Dwight, New York is like a sci-fi fantasy novel. And again, I would have to agree with him.

Back in Scranton, Jim & Pam come up with the brilliant idea to convince the whole office to just work late on a Friday instead of coming into work on a Saturday. Everyone agrees and are then stunned to find out that the parking lot has been locked and they are now stuck in the office. Ok, so blah blah Jim calls the security guard, they can’t remember his name blah blah. The best part of this entire plot is when Pam winds up to throw a football and clobbers Meredith right in the face.

And I would love to high-five whoever wrote the extra super awkward scene where Toby practically paws Pam right in front of the entire office. He then announces that he is moving to Costa Rica and is “going to jump the fence and jog home now”. Superb writing.

Ryan has a drug problem? Yikes, bikes. Even more frightening, letting Michael and Dwight sleep in his apartment. I wouldn’t want to see the aftermath of that in the morning.

Sidenote: As WG1 and I watched Michael order chicken fingers and a Midori Sour at the nightclub, WG1 turned to me and said, “That sounds like the greatest meal ever.”

Indeed, it does WG1. Now I know what to get you for your next birthday meal.

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Cause I Had a Bad Day

Posted by . April 25th, 2008 at 1:40 am. Leave a comment.

Today I feel like complaining. Today was a bad day. It wasn’t the worst day I’ve had at work. I didn’t cry in the bathroom, but I wanted to. 

This morning it took me a half an hour to get dressed. It usually takes me a while; I stand in front of my armoire and stare at my clothes. I put on one outfit and then take it off. I put on another outfit and then take it off. And another. And another. I usually end up with a combination of outfit number one and outfit number three. For one reason or another it took much longer today and that frustrated me. 
I didn’t get a window seat on the bus.
I forgot to have coffee this morning which caused me to have a headache. 
I had it in my head that when I got to work this morning I would be able to send promotional listings to clients for approval right away. Long story short: I stayed in the office until 7 p.m. sending e-mails to clients because I didn’t have the listings earlier than 5:30 p.m.
Today my guy boss (I have two new bosses: a girl boss and a guy boss) had to approve the layout of a mircosite that I was responsible for. Of course I didn’t look over the copy beforehand because I was just showing him the layout. But he looked at everything and there were mistakes in the copy. It didn’t help that he has once before told me to look over everything I show him (it was okay then because it was the first time I messed up) and it didn’t help that I had no idea I was responsible for this project until Tuesday. He said to me “Working Girl One, you have to look over this. I can’t be the one editing it.” He didn’t talk down to me and he wasn’t mean but there was something about how he said that made me feel like shit leaving his office. Every day since I started this position, it seems that I have done one thing wrong and this boss has noticed.  One day, I just want to do everything right. 
The weather was absolutely gorgeous today in New York. It was one of those days that made everyone want to eat lunch in the park. I went to the cafeteria and brought my lunch to my desk. I didn’t have time to leave the office. And the sandwich guy forgot to put red onion on my tuna sandwich. 
I had to work late. I know, I already mentioned that but it sucked enough to be mentioned twice.
After work I thought I’d enjoy the weather by walking to Port Authority rather than walking. I stubbed my toe. Twice. 
Today was one of those days. The only word to describe it is draining. Working Girl Two and I just watched The Office (look out for her recap tomorrow) which made me feel better about my work life. In twenty minutes Lost is on and a great episode would make my bad day not seem so bad. At least let me see Jack or Sawyer without his shirt. 
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A Working Girl in the Big D

Posted by . April 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm. Leave a comment.

‘A Working Girl in the …’ is a post written by a contributing writer that appears on Working Girl twice a month. This week’s post was written by a Working Girl from Dallas, Texas about her career as an entry-level advertising executive.


It seems like only a year ago I was graduating from UNC, planning my big move out to Dallas, Texas, and patting myself on the back for snagging a job in advertising. Oh, wait, rewind and retract — that was only a year ago. Is it just me or do we automatically age five years after college graduation? Since becoming a Working Girl several phrases have entered my vocabulary that I didn’t think would pass from my lips just a few months after being able to win five straight games of beer pong. “Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly have another – I wouldn’t want to be hung over tomorrow,” or the common, “I should be getting home. It’s getting late.” Check your watch after I let these words escape and it’s probably only 9:00 p.m. But since graduation, I start getting tired around 8:30 p.m. and once I hit that couch there is no peeling me away.

Contrary to what you might believe, we Dallas girls don’t wear cowboy boots to work (at least not every day) or talk about the latest country diva to grace CMT around the water-cooler. In fact, Dallas jumps on the bandwagon of every new trend in dining and fashion making Dallas essentially the New York City of the Southwest (or at least that’s what Dallas-ites would like to believe).

Dallas is most famous for its pro sports, shopping, restaurants, nightlife and the ever present $30,000 millionaire. Not familiar? This is the Working Girl or Boy who leave their house in the latest designer threads and drive a BMW 3-series (but live in dumps and eat Ramen noodles for every meal unless they are throwing down hundred dollar bills at the trendy, new restaurant down the street). It’s a whole different breed of the Working Girl and Boy.

Not able to reach the exclusive status of a $30,000 millionaire based on my entry-level salary, I settle for a simpler life as an Assistant Account Executive at a small advertising agency in an area just outside of Dallas. Day to day my job consists of proof-reading advertisements, dealing with some of the most uneducated clients you can imagine, and writing new business proposals (this being the most entertaining part of my job), along with several other menial tasks. While I may complain a little about the menial tasks, I do enjoy my job and I’m especially proud that I’ve managed to snag a career in the same field as my college major. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment that I actually learned something in between the late night eating and fraternity parties.

Eventually, my goal is to tack on “senior” to the front of my semi-legit title (I must say having the word “executive” in my title does make me feel smidge important – but only a smidge). My other major goal is to master the art of balancing the different working world dynamics and personalities. For example, I’ve mastered the acting-like-I-care smile when my boss feels the need to delve into the details of her oh-so disgusting sex life. Now I just have to perfect figuring out who you can trust and who is just out to step on you to get to the top is a tricky one.

That, and how to stay up past 9 p.m. on a weekday.

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All Play, No Work

Posted by . April 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 am. Leave a comment.

Last night’s episode of The Hills had nothing to do with work, with the exception of the first 3 minutes. At first, I wasn’t going to post about the episode but I like to think you all come back here every week for my witty comments about Lauren, Heidi, Audrina and Whitney. So here we go:

I love it when episodes of The Hills begin at People’s Revolution. It means Kelly Cutrone is lurking around somewhere, wearing black and looking greasy. No work talk though. Only that Whitney is glad she has someone to talk to now that Lauren is working with her. I thought Whitney would be better at making friends. Maybe Jessica made the staff turn on her.

I love it when Lo makes a guest appearance. She always seems to make statements that create awkwardness. For example, “maybe she’ll bring Heidi.”
Heidi is too obsessed with this girls night thing. Just let it happen Heidi.

Yes, Justin Booby!
Am I the only one who has enjoyed Dove Fresh Takes?
Justin Bobby and Audrina go on a date, as friends.
“I haven’t showered in weeks.” – Justin Bobby
Did he get cuter? Not that he was ever really cute, but he’s not looking to shabby. And, are he and Audrina having a real conversation? I think I like the new Justin Bobby.
“No, he didn’t burp at all.” – Audrina
Heidi and Spencer drain me beyond words. I think I say that every week. Imagine if you’re job was to edit The Hills, Spencer and Heidi would be the bane of your existence.

“I mean, if you guys want me to move in with you.” – Audrina
I don’t think they want to live her.
And the episode in dunzo. Not the best episode ever. I’m looking forward to Stephen Colletti’s return to Lauren’s life.
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Got Interns?

Posted by . April 21st, 2008 at 6:19 pm. Leave a comment.

I know I have mentioned an obscene amount of times on this blog just how much work I’ve been doing since I got promoted in February, so I apologize but it has to be done again. I have a lot of work. One might even say that I was being overworked. So instead of quitting (which was ‘Plan A’), I asked The Boss if I could hire an intern (which was ‘Plan B’). My wishes were granted in the form of our new intern for the sales and marketing departments. This means I have to share her with the sales team which is fine as long she knows I like my coffee black, piping hot with a pinch of sugar (just kidding – I don’t even like coffee nor would I make her serve me like that).

I have spent my fair share of time serving as an intern – and I use the term ‘serve’ because being an intern is almost synonymous with being a personal slave. Or at least that has always been my take on it since my internships were always at small publications where there were no mail room coordinators, no copy machines, no secretaries to answer the phones and therefore I became the resident secretary/personal assistant/editorial assistant.

But even though my three-two days a week in the office were crazy busy and I sometimes had to do hard manual labor (like schlep around the city buying baby supplies for my editor’s pending trip to Barbados or the times I had to walk many, many avenues to Staples to get paper for the printer/fax machine and then literally strap said paper to my back for my walk back to the office), I wouldn’t give them up because of how much I learned and the relationships I formed.

So I’m hoping this is how my new intern (my very own intern!) will view her internship in a few years down the road as she reminisces about her time underneath my wing learning the ropes of marketing. And in this case, the ropes is entering data and doing all the projects I don’t feel like doing. Like last week she entered almost 2,000 names into our newsletter database because The Boss determined that I didn’t have time to do it. Enter intern to do the dirty work for me.

I felt like I was coming-of-age in the working world when the new intern started two weeks ago mainly because I was no longer at the bottom of the corporate food chain. Now when the President of our company needs her magazines alphabetized while she is at a conference in Australia, I won’t be the youngin called in to bat. The intern will take it from there.

I’m not just excited about having a new wingman at work to help me out with all the boring and tedious projects that get thrown my way, but I also get to (in a very minor role) be able to practice managing someone’s work. For instance, if I give my intern a project and she does it incorrectly, I will be the one to blame. If my intern is sitting at her desk doing homework, then it’s me that gets put on the chopping block. While this is a scary thought, it’s also somewhat exciting. She’s my responsibility and if I do a good job of making sure she does her work correctly and on time then I get a gold star.

I was also not-so-secretly hoping for a new friend in my new intern – one who might be able to tell me all about her college exploits, the fun bars she went to over the weekend, the new cocktails she created with her girlfriends in the dorm – but alas, my new intern seems more like a ‘do her homework on Saturday night’ kind of girl. She’s quiet, avoids chit-chat and gets right to business. On the one hand, this is great because I know I won’t have to walk by her work space once an hour to make sure she’s not checking Perez every five minutes because, unlike me, she seems to be completely 100% committed to her internship and not celebrity gossip.

On that note, I’m going to have my intern put together some media kits so I have more time read about Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson’s (on again) budding romance.

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Bye, Bye Miss Chair Model Lady

Posted by . April 18th, 2008 at 2:09 pm. Leave a comment.

“Hello Oscar Meyer Wiener-lover. I bet, that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends, who trust you implicitly, because they know you’d never touch them given your condition.” -Michael Scott

Michael Scott is single and has decided to swear off women (or rather just one woman and that woman is Jan). “Ladies and gentlemen, would you please open your supply catalogs and turn to page 85?” So begins Michael’s search for a new passionate love affair. Three weeks ago Michael was supposed to pick a new chair to purchase for his office, but his recent break-up from Jan has left him pining over ‘chair model lady’ on page 85 – a woman who he claims is professional with a light in her eyes who looks like she would love to curl up on a couch. To me, she looks like a girl that got fired during my first week of work for being on Gmail too much (which scared me off Google Talk for a good two weeks).
This brings us to Michael’s great plan of having each of his employees write the name of a eligible bachelorette that he can call to go out with on an index card. Insert Kevin’s witty answer of his good friend Wendy, a hot and juicy redhead, who turns out to be the fast food restaurant chain. Sidenote: I think if Kevin and I could just meet once we’d be bosom buddies in no time that could enjoy snacking on Frosty’s and baked potatoes.
Out of pity (or perhaps just to get Michael to choose which chair he wants to purchase so she can get his swivel, high backed office chair for herself), Pam sets Michael up with her landlady. Of course, Michael acts with the decorum of a — actually, I don’t know even how to describe him on his blind date with Margaret. I mean, he said she was like talking to a ‘sweet old lady on the bus’. Oh, Michael, how you entertain me.
While Michael is out meeting Pam’s landlady, Dwight has promised to bring the chair model lady to Michael so that she “can bear his fruit”. Turns out (after much investigation), that Deborah Shoshlefski a.k.a. Chair Model Lady died in a car accident while driving stoned. To get closure, Michael and Dwight visit her grave site. Bye, bye Miss Chair Model Lady.

Subplot that made me laugh: Kevin & Andy’s mission to get their parking spots back. I would love to see more of these “Five Families” of the five companies in the office building in later episodes — particularly Paul Faust or “Cool Guy Paul”.

Subplot that made me tear up: Jim is planning on proposing to Pam. Is it true that all my dreams could come true? I hope there are many more “will you wait for me to tie my shoe?” moments to come this season!

And later, I’m stopping at Starbucks and ordering a large hot chocolate with caramel and a shot of mint.
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One of the Cool Girls

Posted by . April 17th, 2008 at 4:20 pm. Leave a comment.
Every morning on the bus I see Working Girls on their Blackberries e-mailing their co-workers or playing Brick Breaker. Every morning on the bus I give those Working Girls dirty looks because I am jealous. When I see a Working Girl with a Blackberry, I think that she must be important and she becomes somewhat of a Working Girl Idol. “I want to be like her one day,” I think.

Well, one day happened. Last Friday, I got a Blackberry and immediately felt more cool and more important. Every time I’ve pulled it out of my purse, I’ve felt like a powerful Working Girl. Now, I really shouldn’t have felt this way because the only reason I received a Blackberry is for my upcoming business trip to South Africa. For one month, my personal cell phone has been replaced with a new Blackberry.

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I oohed and ahhed over my shiny silver phone for the entire afternoon on Friday. I checked my e-mail over and over and over again all weekend. I’m finally making some progress on my Brick Breaker score. And now I’m sick of it. Every part of it (except for Brick Breaker). Sunday morning, it rang several times to notify me of a new e-mail. Why Sunday morning? Because apparently that is when American Express chooses to e-mail my company card transactions for the week (and my new bosses’ and my old bosses’. I received A LOT of e-mail).
Last night after work I received an e-mail from a client telling me they get something approved by the time I need it approved (typical). Since I’m behind on this project already, having another setback put me in a frustrated and annoyed mood. I then took out my frustration and annoyance on my Working Boy.
Why don’t I just not check my work e-mail? Because nothing bothers me more than having a number next to my inbox. And if I don’t open it, it’ll just make me more anxious and stressed about going to work the next morning.
Why don’t I just turn the pretty little Blackberry off? Because it also serves as my personal cell phone. My LG Chocolate won’t make calls or send text messages. I’m stuck with the Blackberry.
My boss saw me on Friday ooihng and ahhing over my Blackberry and she said that maybe after the trip, I could get a permanent one (that isn’t also my cell phone). In some cases, like working events or assisting with a video or photo shoot that keeps me away from desk all day (this happened 3 times in my first two weeks of my marketing assistant career) having a Blackberry makes sense. But as fun a Brick Breaker is, I just don’t think I want a Blackberry of my very own.
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